foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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