i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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