either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
