Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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