Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
