Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
send nudes
from the living room?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
