Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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