hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just took my morning after pill in the library
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
