White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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