We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
