Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize