I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
