she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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