He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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