She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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