guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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