is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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