I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
