Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
