New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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