yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
