hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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