this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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