It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
