Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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