on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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