1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
