I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
