I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
