There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
