Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize