foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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