I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Let's get the cat blown out
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I supernannyed him into submission
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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