There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
