He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
