I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Where is the hickey?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
