Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
