Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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