I could have mohawked her pubes.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
