He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
