what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
