Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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