those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
