Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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