uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Nicole vs. Life
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize