I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
