I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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