I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
