can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
