drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I looked at my own cervix.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
