party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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