...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i barfeds in our rink
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
