I'll bet she douches with gravy.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
