We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
