I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize